Showing posts from December, 2019

Read this to get a perfect score on your eye exam.


[Originally published in January of 2009] 

I ran into an old friend, but don't worry, neither of us got hurt too badly. I'll just have to be more careful in the future...

A lot of people like to say that the "future is now," and those people are wrong because the future is actually tomorrow. Sometimes I ponder what it would be like to see into the future. Every time I would begin to tie my shoe, it would already be tied. More importantly, it would make my next optometrist appointment more interesting:

Doctor: Can you read the third line?
Me: On this chart or the one that will be here in twenty years?
Doctor: I'm getting a new chart in twenty years?
Me: Well, no, you'll be dead. But the guy replacing you is getting a new one.

Without this ability to look into the future, eye doctor appointments are not interesting enough because there is no possible way I can get a better result than …