Sometimes I talk to myself

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I wrote this in 2003.  When all else fails, interview yourself.  At least you will know what not to ask, right?

I have recently become frustrated with something at doughnut establishments, and I'm not referring to the scones, although -- seriously -- just think about the writing possibilities if I were. Rather, it's the tip cup that bothers me...

To begin, I do realize that doughnut (or donut, take your pick) shops aren't the only places with these cups. But for the sake of this column, I need to be oblivious to all of the other ones in order to keep some sort of focus, so bear with me here...

Yogi: That's right, I am.

Smokey: Me too.

At any rate, my first question is what we are tipping when we contribute extra change, sometimes even dollar bills, into the doughnut tip cup. Is it the way the employees stretch to grab the lemon-filled that is so challenging, or is coffee pouring more of an art than I thought it was? The …

Know yourself (or at least your pizza)

I wrote this in October of 2003.  A lot has happened since then, some of it involving pizza and wings.

I don't particularly mind ordering pizzas. In fact, sometimes I enjoy it. It's not the actual call that fascinates me, of course, but more so it's the knowledge that the call will soon turn itself into actual food. It is this transformation (phone call into food) that makes our country what it is today, and could also be responsible for the popularity in replacing the letter 'f' in words with 'ph,' such as in the sentence, "This is so phat, man." And, of course, in that particular example, the fatness -- or phatness -- may be a result of the pizza…

Nevertheless, my reason for this topic has nothing to do with any of this. Rather, I wanted to discuss the conversation I had the other day with the person on the other end of the pizza delivery process. Upon asking if they offered chicken as a topping, she replied, "I don't kno… changes the face of college education

When I first heard about and its claim that it allows students of all ages to finish their first year of college for free, I was expectedly skeptical.  However, after reading the information on the site, watching its videos and checking out its endorsements, I could clearly see that this program can save people thousands of dollars.

For those who are still trying to figure out their career options, the site offers a lot of career information as well as the platform for users to get information on certain careers once it becomes available.  The sign-up process only takes a minute, and from there potential students can learn about the many courses -- all free! -- that can be transferred to over a thousand colleges and universities, with an expanding list of many more.  I recommend watching the site's introductory video here:

There are no hidden fees, and students can work at their own pace to complete courses.  Since the s…

The World Cup... Eight Years Ago

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Eight years ago, I wrote about the World Cup.  I didn't know much about soccer beyond the basics then.  I still don't.  But with Spain losing an hour ago, I thought I would re-post this for those who are into this so-called "soccer" or "football," or "Spain."

No More Goals July 13, 2010 .............................................................................................................. This year's version of the World Cup, a month-long tournament of soccer that ended in a championship by some country called "Spain," has left many soccer fans with a difficult dilemma: do they become productive members of society for four years, or do they simply wait around for the next World Cup to begin, hoping that their jobs will offer them a maternity leave for being mothers of soccer at that ti…

I wrote this about curling (so that you can read this about curling)

I wrote this four years ago about curling.  Hey, if I don't copy and paste this now, I may as well wait four years.  Here goes:


I've tried a few different times to understand curling.  I bought a bag of cheese curls.  I found a bunch of those bugs that curl up into balls and tried to teach them right from wrong.  I even did what most people do when they need information: I used Wikipedia, which told me in its first line, "Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four concentric rings."  Although I understand each of those words individually, I am having trouble figuring out the connection between those words and "sport."  I mean, by these standards, shouldn't ring toss be an Olympic sport?  Or how about horeshoes?  What makes these different from curling?

Of course there are people reading this column who will claim to understand curling, but there is a nickname for those…

Twitter Scratch Paper: What is it and how can I get it immediately?

I was recently driving, pondering the answers to life's important questions as I normally do when I drive, when I interrupted myself with a thought about Twitter: why don't many people proofread before they tweet?   And, for that matter, why don't they pause for a little bit -- just a few seconds even -- before making that tweet available to thousands or even millions of people?

Maybe some people need to go back to their writing roots, I thought.  Maybe they need scratch paper.  And who am I to deny something to people that they need?

I created Twitter Scratch Paper as a way for people to plan out their tweets before they send them.  People can keep the book wherever they do their best thinking.  Each page consists of two sets of 280 blanks just waiting to be filled in.

Maybe you're hesitant to get started on Twitter.  Then use this book and practice before you put yourself out there.

Maybe your best friend or your mom or a politician you know needs to stop impulsively…

'Tis the Season

People often say to me, "Greg, I need your help. Can you answer some questions about Christmas for me?"

Actually, no one has ever said that to me.


Not even sort of.

But if someone ever does,  I am well-prepared, as I wrote this column in December of 2012:

'Tis the Season
December 18, 2012

It's the middle of December, every radio station is now playing Christmas music and there are sales at every store. It can only be one time of the year. That's right, the four-month countdown to Arbor Day. The problem is: it's hard to even think about Arbor Day right now -- or to even begin the countdown -- with Christmas a week away. There are so many things to worry about between now and then that you might be wishing a guide existed to help you get through this. And lucky for you there is: it's called Wikipedia. But let's face it: you just don't have that kind of time. So here you have it, a simplified Q&A guide to get you through the next wee…