September 2009 Tweets

Continuing my trend from the other day, here are some of my tweets from September of 2009.  If you were asleep during all of that month, this is a way for you to catch up on life:

- I wonder what Martians think about Mars bars...

- I just saw a deer crossing where a deer crossing sign was... How appropriate...

- I know that mice supposedly like cheese, but I very rarely see them eat pizza...  and only once have I seen a mouse eat a cheesesteak.

- A compass is an amazing tool: you can use it to find your way home and to draw a perfect circle...  Crazy!

- While getting my haircut, I made the mistake of engaging in conversation with the hairdresser.  Next time I should pretend to fall asleep...

- Nothing is more intimidating than an old woman wearing sunglasses in the shade...

- I am sick, so I am drinking orange juice... Now I am sick of orange juice.

- When I play Bingo by myself, I almost always win...

- Ah, NFL opening day...  Will Brett Favre make it through the day without retiring?

- Sometimes I wish I owned a cow...  Most of the time I wonder why.

- I don't ever seem to tweet about "trending topics."  Am I THAT cool or THAT out of the loop?

- Ah, yes -- Labor Day...  When some of the laziest people I know are rewarded with a day off.

- Imagine how happy the world would be if we all used Twizzlers as straws...

- I heard that a lot of women are going to give birth on Labor Day...

- My hand sanitizer claims to kill 99.99% of germs. I hope the 0.01 is not the plague...

- I don't think Harriet the Spy is a good name for a spy...

- If I were a credit card company, I would give llamas a lot of credit...

- I want to install an escalator inside an elevator...  and I want to be called the ruler of said device.

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