People often say to me, "Greg, I need your help. Can you answer some questions about Christmas for me?"
Actually, no one has ever said that to me.
Not even sort of.
But if someone ever does, I am well-prepared, as I wrote this column in December of 2012:
'Tis the Season
December 18, 2012
It's the middle of December, every radio station is now playing Christmas music and there are sales at every store. It can only be one time of the year. That's right, the four-month countdown to Arbor Day. The problem is: it's hard to even think about Arbor Day right now -- or to even begin the countdown -- with Christmas a week away. There are so many things to worry about between now and then that you might be wishing a guide existed to help you get through this. And lucky for you there is: it's called Wikipedia. But let's face it: you just don't have that kind of time. So here you have it, a simplified Q&A guide to get you through the next wee…
I was recently driving, pondering the answers to life's important questions as I normally do when I drive, when I interrupted myself with a thought about Twitter: why don't many people proofread before they tweet? And, for that matter, why don't they pause for a little bit -- just a few seconds even -- before making that tweet available to thousands or even millions of people?
Maybe some people need to go back to their writing roots, I thought. Maybe they need scratch paper. And who am I to deny something to people that they need?
I created Twitter Scratch Paper as a way for people to plan out their tweets before they send them. People can keep the book wherever they do their best thinking. Each page consists of two sets of 280 blanks just waiting to be filled in.
Maybe you're hesitant to get started on Twitter. Then use this book and practice before you put yourself out there.
Maybe your best friend or your mom or a politician you know needs to stop impulsively…
I wrote this four years ago about curling. Hey, if I don't copy and paste this now, I may as well wait four years. Here goes:
I've tried a few different times to understand curling. I bought a bag of cheese curls. I found a bunch of those bugs that curl up into balls and tried to teach them right from wrong. I even did what most people do when they need information: I used Wikipedia, which told me in its first line, "Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four concentric rings." Although I understand each of those words individually, I am having trouble figuring out the connection between those words and "sport." I mean, by these standards, shouldn't ring toss be an Olympic sport? Or how about horeshoes? What makes these different from curling?
Of course there are people reading this column who will claim to understand curling, but there is a nickname for those…